Open Boat

I tell you the truth.

“If I am going to be drowned–if I am going to be drowned–if I am going to be drowned, why, in the name of the seven mad gods who rule the sea, was I allowed to come thus far and contemplate sand and trees? Was I brought here merely to have my nose dragged away as I was about to nibble the sacred cheese of life?”

The Open Boat, by Stephen Crane

“If there was no way into GOD then why would I lay in this grave of a body for so long”

by mewithoutyou

Do we see the moral of these excerpts?

What is the meaning of life? God!

But God doesn’t make sense? Exactly!

Why would you follow something that makes perfect sense? You wouldn’t!

Why would you question something that you already know all the answers to? You wouldn’t!

What is the point of faith at all if we knew everything about this Divine Creator? No point at all!

We are all here for a reason.
Get over it!
Sorry but you have a purpose in this world.
Will you embrace that purpose
or
run from it.
Don’t allow your body to be a grave on this earth.

One purpose that we all have is to Love.

Now go love others and not yourself.

That is a purpose worth dying for.

God is Love
and
Love is Real

Amen!

God is Love and Love is Real

God is Love and Love is Real.

If this statement is true (which I believe and know that it is) then we can then come to the conclusion that God is confusing. Which is pretty obvious to anyone trying to understand God.

It’s kind of funny how Love and God ties in really. God is something that our minds cannot even come close to trying to understand completely. Not even close. If we just wait, God just comes to us and speaks and then we think we understand what love is because we experience God.

I do not know where I am going with this but Love is real and I know this because I know of God. But I really cant grasp this concept of love. I think love makes you become more like that person God would want you to be which would be more like him.

When you love someone, truly love someone, you become unselfish and put that significant other before you in all aspects of life. That right there is a beautiful thing. Love is so powerful that it would make the most selfish creatures ever created think more of another than themselves. That is God. That is power.

Not to get personal but I yearn for this feeling. This is a side of God that I know is out there but I have not yet been able to grasp it. To truly fall in love. To become so unselfish that I am not myself. I think falling in love can become a worshipful experience towards God. I cannot wait to meet the young lady that brings this understanding of God to me in a whole new way.

I think there is a difference between thinking something and actually really feeling it. I think about this subject a good amount but I am still as selfish as can be. Which is sad really.

Love is so beautiful. Yet so is God. Do you see how this all ties in ? I could go on for days about this.

this is all such random thoughts but i hope there could be some understanding as to what I am saying.

To try to understand why love changes a person would be like trying to understand how God changes a person.

This is my view right now.
Maybe I will fall in love and then right another note against what I just said. lol
Who knows?
Thanks for reading and please feel free to comment all that you want on this absurdity.

God is Love and Love is Real

1 John 4:7-12

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son^[b] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for^[c] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Simple and Beautiful

I’ve had much time to ponder and just think about things here recently amidst all of these rainy days.
Life is beautiful, when it is kept so simple.
Why do we continually try to complicate things?
Lets take our relationships for example.
We like to play games and make things difficult and just prolong the actions that we would like to take from the beginning, by messing with the others head.
We are all guilty of it. I’ll be the first to admit to it.
Relationships are so simple and beautiful but we tend to complicate them with this mindless banter.
This is what I want to change so desperately.
But can such a thing come about?
Even my relationship with Christ has come to this mindlessness.
Of course its only on my part that the banter occurs and not on Christs’.
I find myself just playing with God to have belief in Him.
and I do the same with others.
Why cant I just step right in and believe
or believe in that person.
We have to test things, which is completely reasonable, when it comes to people at least.
but With God???
I am an idiot. I have let the way that I interact with friends and the opposite sex interfere with the way that I interact with God.
I have to have trust proven to me by people to gain it.
So now I am doing the same with my Savior.
It’s stupid if you ask me.
I want to just take the action and just step in and go all out for this Divine being that I so amazingly believe in.
but I do not.

Why?

Because I feel like I am programed now to toy with that person and test them and see if they’ve earned my friendship. HA who am I to think this way. a mere mortal to think this way about God(to loosely quote Paul).
I want, No, I need something simple. something beautiful and Christ gives that to me everyday and I just take it for granted.
I think this is how I should base my relationships now.
Just take the plung and trust that person until proven otherwise.
Love them from the begining. and hopefully still love them in the end no matter what.
I hope that in doing this, my relationship with Christ would grow and I could just learn to stop playing and start learning.
I am not very wise and I want to learn from anyone and everyone.
I want to love all people and not mess with their heads.
I want to trust people like I should and want to trust Christ.

With all of my heart.

In this case I will act first and then speak later.
If that makes any sense at all.

God is Love
and
Love is Real

P.S. I hope we can now see how the way we treat others is a direct reflection of what others can view of Christ. That is such a great burden. But I’m glad to have this burden and I hope you will be also.

Oatmeal

As I was eating me some oatmeal this morning I suddenly realized something. Oatmeal is the proof of a seed in my life. Let me explain now that I have figured this out.

I really like oatmeal. I fix my oatmeal with butter, sugar, brown sugar and lots of honey. I don’t really prefer it this way, it is just the way it was made for me as a child and I just keep doing it, even though I think I do prefer it just plain now days.

I have very fond memories of spending times with my ma me, who is my great grandmother. She was a great women. She passed away a couple of years ago from alzheimer’s and I still think about her from time to time. But the reason why I say this is because I would spend multiple nights there as a child with just my brother, ma me and I. Every morning she would fix us oatmeal. Not the instant kind, but the long time on the stove kind. The kind that made little boys like my brother and I go crazy in the mornings because of our hungry little bellies were not filled yet. She would fill the oatmeal with all the ingredients that I mentioned in the above.

Growing up in a house of alcoholics, ma me was my only source of Christ in my life. I would not have known about God really at all before the 7th grade if it wasn’t for this woman. We would sit down and eat our oatmeal at her kitchen table and read these little cards full of scripture that were there in the middle of the table. For some reason I would always read these. They would captivate my 8 year old mind. God was moving and I didn’t even know it. (That I Feel, is amazing). God’s scripture was already molding me without me even knowing him. So my first experience with scripture is while I am eating oatmeal. I guess thats why I love oatmeal so much.

Ma me had this huge Bible that was about 2 feet high by 1.5 feet wide when closed. She kept this thing in a glass case all protected. It was always open though. I would sit there and stare at it like it was some treasure of some sort. Which to my surprise it actually is a book of treasure.

Ma me made me feel loved. Everyone loved her and you could tell. I guess thats why I always liked going to her house. I still remember the house, I remember its’ smells, I still think of her every time I see a Wendys or a poodle. Wendys was next door to her house and she owned 2 poodles and they were both blind. You can only imagine what a 6 and 8 year old set of boys would do to such dogs.

This women planted a seed in my life that I had never even known about until this morning. God is amazing in this way. I thank every one of you that I know that has watered that seed to this day. You are showing me the love that ma me had shown me. Her love was pure and beautiful and I miss her. I will see her some day again and when I do I think I will owe her some oatmeal and a giant hug and thank you.

I love you ma me and I miss you dearly. Thank you for your love. I pray that I may do the same.

If My Little Brother Were to Die, I Would also.

My little brother Kyle went into surgery to get his Spleen and Gall Bladder removed. His spleen had swollen to the size of a cantaloupe. The spleen is suppose to be the size of a racquetball. He has this disease that has come to be called the “Tansey Curse”. Every male in the family gets this disease except for me for some reason. I don’t really know what that is suppose to mean. This disease is called spherocytosis(sp?). The blood cells are miss shaped so they begin to get lodged in the spleen and cause it to swell. Here are some pictures of the after math of his surgery. They are kinda gruesome so please don’t look if you get queasy easily.

I love my little brother. Despite his antics. I pray that his life will now really take off after he recovers from all of this. He lacks the self discipline to be what I feel God wants him to be. To bad he doesn’t know God or maybe this would be a different story in his case. I would give my life for him. I love him more than anyone here on this earth. Sorry Mom. I just hope that he is sought out by God. He could do amazing things if he really tried. I look up to my brother because of his courage in so many areas. Thank you Kyle for inspiring me in so many ways that you don’t even know about. I love you. Even though you will probably never read this I pray that my actions and speech will show it. Thank you brother for your love and your heart. Your awesome in every way and I can’t imagine life without you. Your amazing. I’m so proud of you. Your bravery through the surgery astonishes me. I will never leave you brother. You mean the world. I’m here for you no matter what the cost. I love you. Get well.

Family Reunion

I went to my family reunion yesterday. I now know why my facial hair doesn’t grow in all full and beard like. This was the reunion for my mothers side of the family.

Seriously, I love my family, but they are really something else. They are the kind of people that you see in those trailer park scenes in the movies. I was just in awe of the kind of people that I was related to. I don’t know how to feel about all of this to be real honest. These are really hard working people but they just really like to get drunk. And get real drunk is what they did. It was rather funny.

Up above is a picture of my uncle Mike. He is my mom’s little brother. He rides a Harley and wears skulls all the time to make him look real tough. The t-shirt that he has on says snitches are a dying breed. I found that to be quite funny being on him. The real funny thing about this man is that he acts so tough but in all seriousness I could probably knock him down with one punch due to his size. I would never do such a thing to him because I love my uncle so very much. But he resembles my family. We are a bunch of really small people that think that we are super tough and we can take on anyone that comes our way. Myself included. But I would never confront someone like my uncle does.

I believe I got my hard work ethic from this side of the family though. These people could pull 14 hour days 5 days a week their whole life, and not get tired of it. I respect these men and women of my family. I love them all. We consist of white trash, red necks, honky tonks, born agains, and drunks. I am proud to be related to them.

OH A HILL, oh a hill

When I was younger, I remember going to my Grandparents house and only being excited about one thing and one thing only, A HILL. Yeah I guess seeing the old folks was kind of exciting, but not as exciting as this HILL at the opening of the neighborhood. This HILL was the biggest HILL around and steep and was a prize awaiting to be obtained by such 10 year old daredevils as I was. I had a scooter at my Grandparents house that was from the 1970’s, that I think was my fathers when he was a child. As soon as I arrived at the house I would say hi, give the old folks a hug and a kiss and then head to the HILL on my dad’s old scooter. I would go to the top and roll down for hours on end. I would feel such a rush from the sudden acceleration and speed from when I would hit the slope. It was euphoric for a 10 year old daredevil such as I. This HILL was all I needed for happiness and I knew that as soon as I got to it I would have as much fun as I did the last time.

This Thursday I went to my Grandparents house for Thanksgiving “Linner” as one of my friends would come to call it. I was excited because my Aunt “Lo-Lo” from New York came down, she is awesome. The hour long drive, which I now drive alone instead of with my parents, is now filled with thoughts on questions that I was going to ask my favorite Aunt Lo-Lo when I arrived there. The hill doesn’t even cross my mind. As I enter the neighborhood I see the hill. The sight of the hill doesn’t really excite me, I just keep on driving on to my Grandparents house. We do the usual Thanksgiving thing and then I leave. I would elaborate about what went on during my stay but it doesn’t matter for this story. On my way out of the neighborhood I encounter the hill and along with that I encounter many thoughts about how it used to make me feel. I stop and just stare at it and look at how small it is. I could make it up the hill in about 3 steps. This is the hill that used to be huge to me and was the best thing in the world for fun. I look at it now and I’m like, hey look it’s a giant ant hill. The size is not impressive at all. I begin to wonder how I ever thought that this hill was ever exciting.

Whenever I first received salvation, God was BIG to me. When I say this, I mean that I believed that He could do anything. He could heal all, see all, know all and etc. all. I’m not saying that I still don’t believe this, I still very much do. I just struggle with the thought more than I used to. When I first came to believe in Christ He was like the hill that I played on when I was younger. He was so big to me. He still is but there is still that struggle to believe that he is. I begin to bring in stupid logic and reason and things that makes sense on paper but I realize that my God doesn’t make sense on paper. He is much bigger than that. He is much more than ink on a page.

Lets try not to allow the way we think about God the way I thought about the hill. Don’t let God get smaller as you grow older because he doesn’t and never will. He is just as Big when you first met him.