When I was younger, I remember going to my Grandparents house and only being excited about one thing and one thing only, A HILL. Yeah I guess seeing the old folks was kind of exciting, but not as exciting as this HILL at the opening of the neighborhood. This HILL was the biggest HILL around and steep and was a prize awaiting to be obtained by such 10 year old daredevils as I was. I had a scooter at my Grandparents house that was from the 1970’s, that I think was my fathers when he was a child. As soon as I arrived at the house I would say hi, give the old folks a hug and a kiss and then head to the HILL on my dad’s old scooter. I would go to the top and roll down for hours on end. I would feel such a rush from the sudden acceleration and speed from when I would hit the slope. It was euphoric for a 10 year old daredevil such as I. This HILL was all I needed for happiness and I knew that as soon as I got to it I would have as much fun as I did the last time.
This Thursday I went to my Grandparents house for Thanksgiving “Linner” as one of my friends would come to call it. I was excited because my Aunt “Lo-Lo” from New York came down, she is awesome. The hour long drive, which I now drive alone instead of with my parents, is now filled with thoughts on questions that I was going to ask my favorite Aunt Lo-Lo when I arrived there. The hill doesn’t even cross my mind. As I enter the neighborhood I see the hill. The sight of the hill doesn’t really excite me, I just keep on driving on to my Grandparents house. We do the usual Thanksgiving thing and then I leave. I would elaborate about what went on during my stay but it doesn’t matter for this story. On my way out of the neighborhood I encounter the hill and along with that I encounter many thoughts about how it used to make me feel. I stop and just stare at it and look at how small it is. I could make it up the hill in about 3 steps. This is the hill that used to be huge to me and was the best thing in the world for fun. I look at it now and I’m like, hey look it’s a giant ant hill. The size is not impressive at all. I begin to wonder how I ever thought that this hill was ever exciting.
Whenever I first received salvation, God was BIG to me. When I say this, I mean that I believed that He could do anything. He could heal all, see all, know all and etc. all. I’m not saying that I still don’t believe this, I still very much do. I just struggle with the thought more than I used to. When I first came to believe in Christ He was like the hill that I played on when I was younger. He was so big to me. He still is but there is still that struggle to believe that he is. I begin to bring in stupid logic and reason and things that makes sense on paper but I realize that my God doesn’t make sense on paper. He is much bigger than that. He is much more than ink on a page.
Lets try not to allow the way we think about God the way I thought about the hill. Don’t let God get smaller as you grow older because he doesn’t and never will. He is just as Big when you first met him.
